filk_of_belac (filk_of_belac) wrote,

Sir John Rattan

Title: Sir John Rattan
Mythos: SCA
May be sung to the tune of: John Barleycorn
Owner of the original: Traditional
Written on: Winter 2006

Background: This song details the process of making a sword legal for the SCA. SCA swords are made from rattan, a Bamboo-like grass, which is harvested and processed as described in the first 2 verses.

There were three men joined the SCA
Their fortunes for to try
And these three men made a solemn vow
Sir John Rattan should die
They climbed, they pulled, they cut him down
Stripped spines until they bled
Until they three were satisfied
Sir John Rattan was dead

There’s leather and steel armor
Aluminum for shields
And little Sir John in a well-made sword
Is the best by far to wield

They dried, they smoked, they boiled him
’Til he shed his oils and gums
And they were left with a ten-foot rod
Thick round as long’s your thumb
They bound him round in bundles thick
Took him to an event
And fighters came round and bought Sir John
Til all they had was spent


The fighters, then with saws so sharp
Did cut him into three
They rolled him up all with duct tape
Served him most barbarously
The fighters then did carve one end
A handle for to build
And his maker has served him worse than that
For he’s bound on him a hilt


They wound him around and round with tape
Til the thrusting tip was on
And then they’d made a good strong sword
Of good Sir John Rattan
Taped him once more with two bright lines
The cutting edge to show
And his wielder has served him worse than that
For he’s slammed him to the foe


Here’s good Sir John in a well-made sword
And one made of live steel
And good Sir John in the well-made sword
is the better one to wield
And the fighters they can’t fight their wars
Or contest for crown
And they can’t bruise each other sore
Without Sir John Rattan
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